Nikki Glaser had a lot to prove as the first woman to solo host the Golden Globe Awards, and boy, did she deliver. Known for her razor-sharp humour and brutal roasts, she lived up to the hype and brought the same savage wit she’s become famous for.
Following her success in Netflix’s Roast of Tom Brady, Nikki took the Golden Globes stage and roasted the entire room full of Hollywood elite.
Before the show, many were eager to see if she would follow in the footsteps of Ricky Gervais, the comedian who made his Golden Globe appearances legendary by mocking Hollywood’s finest. However, Nikki didn’t just imitate his approach, she created her own league.
Nikki set the tone early in her monologue, stating, “This feels like I finally made it. I’m in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton and this time all of my clothes are on. It was worth it.” But she wasn’t done there. Throughout the night, she dropped one savage roast after another.
Here are some of the best jokes from her performance:
– “I’m not here to roast you. And how could I? You’re all so famous, so talented, so powerful. I mean, you could really do anything – except tell the country who to vote for. But it’s okay. You’ll get them next time!”
– “Wicked, Queer, Nightbi*ch – these are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are some of the incredible movies nominated tonight.”
– “Zendaya you were incredible in Dune. I woke up for all of your scenes. And Challengers? That was more sexually charged than Diddy’s credit card. The after-party is not going to be as good this year, but we have to move on. I know ‘Stanley Tucci Freak Off’ doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
– “If you’re watching on CBS, hello. If you’re watching this on Paramount+ you have six days left to cancel your free trial … Tonight, we celebrate the best of film – and hold space for television.”
– “I look out and I see some of the hardest working actors in show business – and by that, I mean your servers.”
– “Tilda Swinton is, of course, nominated this year for her role as Timothee Chalamet … Timothee Chalamet, you have the most gorgeous eyelashes – on your upper lip. That is such a good look. You were so good and in A Complete Unknown as Bob Dylan. I read that your singing voice was so accurate that even Bob Dylan admitted that it was absolutely horrible.”
– “I did not know much about Wicked going into this year because I had friends in high school … Everyone loved Wicked. I loved Wicked. My boyfriend loved Wicked. My boyfriend’s boyfriend really loved Wicked.”
– “In Wicked, some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing. And then in Joker 2, some people complained that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and the sounds that accompanied them. I’m sorry, Joker 2. Where’s their table? Oh, they’re not here.”
– “The legendary Harrison Ford is here tonight. I was talking to Harrison backstage and after he gave me his drink order. I said, ‘Would you rather work with Zendaya or Ariana?’ And he said, ‘indica.'”
– “The Bear, The Penguin, Baby Reindeer. These are not just things found in R.F.K.’s freezer. These are TV shows nominated tonight.”
– “Nicole Kidman is here for Babygirl. That movie was so good, I give it two fingers up. Nicole, this is your 20th Golden Globe nomination. I mean, incredible. Thank you so much for all of your hard work. And thank you to Keith Urban for playing guitar around the house so much that she wants to leave and make 18 movies a year.”
– “Eddie Redmayne did TV this year. He’s nominated for Peacock’s The Day of the Jackal. It’s about a top-secret elite sniper who no one can see – because he’s on Peacock.”
– “This is going be a very memorable evening, and maybe not even in the way that you think. I predict five years from now, when you’re watching old clips of this show on YouTube, you’ll see someone in one of the crowd shots, and you’ll go, ‘Oh my God, that was before they caught that guy.’ It could be a woman, you know. I think 100 percent of the time it’s a man. But it could be a woman.”
– “Emilia Perez earned 10 nominations for Netflix, and I loved it. I think it is, without a doubt, the most audacious, groundbreaking film to ever autoplay after Is It Cake.”
– “Glen Powell, you were in everything. Twisters, Hit Man, my head when I’m having s*x with my boyfriend. Thank you so much for the assist. I’ll see you tonight.”
– “I do want to remind you, if you do lose tonight, please just keep in mind that the point of making art is not to win an award. The point of making art is to start a tequila brand.”
From jabs at A-listers like Timothee Chalamet, Zendaya and Nicole Kidman to cutting remarks about Diddy’s credit card and Joker 2, Nikki Glaser proved she has what it takes to become Hollywood’s next queen of roasting.
